Hello! I'm really glad you found your way here. I've been writing since I was a kid- long before I had the language to name what I was feeling. Writing has always been how I express myself, especially when trauma makes it hard to speak. And a good portion of the time, it does. But the page listens when nothing else can. On July 7, 2024, my world shattered. I lost my spouse to addiction. The grief that followed was unlike anything I've ever known. It was raw, paralyzing and so loud I didn't know how to exist inside it. I knew I had two choices: let it consume me, or write my way through it. This blog is me choosing to survive. I live in Sechelt, B.C, Canada, cradled by the Salish Sea. My love for this place runs deep. The water, the tree's, the wind through the cedar's; they have held my sorrow in ways people can't always manage. When I'm too broken to function, Mother Earth reminds me I'm still here. That healing isn't pretty...
I sensed your absence long before the phone rang. The familiar rhythm of your daily life fell silent, replaced by an unsettling void. My customary morning text, "Good morning beautiful", remained unacknowledged, lost in the stillness. An ominous intuition clawed at me, insisting you were gone. Desperate, I dialed my best friend, my voice trembling with dread. "Something is wrong. He hasn't checked his messages in two days." Her soothing presence usually grounded me, yet the palpable tension gnawed at my insides, intensifying my fear. Fifteen agonizing minutes later, the inevitable call came. When your oldest son's name appeared on my screen, I knew. "I'm sorry Janine. Dad's gone. My brother just found him." Ten words. Quiet. Final. The world didn't just shatter- it vanished. In an instant, the room transformed into a cacophony of chaos, the piercing wails erupted from my core, reverberating off the walls. I collapsed to my ...
It stands a foot tall with a mere 3 inch circumference, but it's presence was undeniably powerful, radiating an energy that commands attention. It surged forward with a relentless bone rattling force. Our bodies trembled beneath it's weight, each resounding clatter echoing the sheer power and inevitability in it's path, as if nothing could stand in it's way. It's fierce determination and unyielding spirit, leaves an indelible mark on everyone it encounters, proving that true strength often comes in small packages. The sharp, high pitched squeal of the closet door creaking open through the stillness, an unsettling sound reverberated, evoking a profound sense of dread and invoking a visceral, spine chilling response. Each note of that discordant noise, felt like a warning, a harbinger of it's unwanted presence slinking into the room, where shadows twisted and lurked. The air thickened with an unsettling cringe, as if the v...
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